The Common Demoninator is YOU...

Although this is the wasteland period for sports (after NBA hangs it up for a bit and baseball rages on until thanksgiving), that special moment occurs for me that gives me so much hope and happiness. FOOTBALL season is coming...bright and early in the morning! (proverbially that is!) Been doing some reading, watching the news, SportsCenter etc and it just hit me that my happy place is returning soon. It is funny how a sport makes you think about relationships. Now as I stated earlier, I am all about relationships whether they are romantic, friendship, working etc. they are the bonds that drive our lives and direct our motivations in alot of ways. So I got to thinking about football and my pro team and their new coach. (Ok, I am a Redskins fan...say what you will but maybe we will finally get it right) The owner Daniel Snyder has had 9 head coaches (some were interim) in almost 10 years of ownership. My 4 year old niece can do that math, after the 3rd or 4th coach you may want to to some introspection Mr. Snyder. It is almost akin to ther person who gets married and divorced 4-6 times and they ask themselves "why cant i stay married?" So what do you think is the problem for Snyder, who has had 9 coaches or the person who has multiple marriages? What thing do they have in common in every relationship?

A. Lack of communication
B. Ike Turner/Joan Crawford complex
C. YOU
D. None of the above...and stop asking me multi choice questions like we are in school!

If you picked C, you are either highly intelligent or you read the title of my blog. If you picked D, go back to Kindergarten!!! I think self-introspection is missing in our society, among people in general. You have to wonder what makes people so dilusional and unrealistic about their talents, relationships and abilities. Now, let me qualify this by saying that I believe that if you put your mind to something and work at it, it can be achieved. However, there has to be a point that where you work for something and if it isnt quite going so well or you arent achieving or even you get the same reaction everytime you attempt something where someone takes you aside and says "maybe this isnt for you" then maybe it is time to pick some new knitting. Working in academia for a few years, I saw so many students fall short in their goals and you want to be encouraging but when the failure is consistent and with little improvement in outcomes and personal habits, you dont want to give false hope to someone that in the future has a big responsibilty in their job and what they do (or not do) could affect someone's life in a major way. I appreciate self-introspection and those who recognize that they have limits and do not try to cross those limits. It is a character trait we more of, I can respect you more if you tell me you cant do something instead of doing it and making the situation that much worse. I think that is something we all can live with and agree on. I'm out like Cross-Colors...

Life is happening...as if we needed a reminder!

I find the transition points of life to be the same in many respects in the lives of those around me. As I think back, I remember how High School was. You had your crew that you were tight with and all of the misadventures that you had. I take the term misadventure and draw it out a bit more to say I thank God I am still alive to tell some of those stories and to say...Dont be stupid! When I left HS, I kept up with my crew and other good friends while making a whole new gang of friends. Although I didnt live on campus, I had some great times and I think who I surrounded myself with made all of the difference. When I graduated, I started to see the changes in my friend connections. Around 22-24 we all went our own way, moving on to new jobs, adventures, marriages, family etc. That was very hard to deal with, knowing that folks you were mad cool with and were always there were just now there in spirit. What remained were memories and the places you went brought back the fun and the misadventures. Grad school brought a new set of cool peeps, but not the closeness that I was used to because grad school is so fleeting. You blink and it is over, time to move to your next challenge, achieve that next goal. At that time, I could see the changes in family as well as in friend ties. I lost a friend and a couple of family members in a short period of time while I saw those grad school ties severed as we all went our merry way. As these peaks and valleys come to us, we deal with them in our own way. At first, it was hard for me to say goodbye to my friends in my 20s, it is never any easier in my 30s but I realize over time that it is a part of "life is happening" and it is happening every day. Being here in the A.C., I have made some good ties but now as another cycle occurs, some of those ties are unraveling. Many go their way, others make changes to their lives. Sometimes I feel like in the midst of so much change, I am standing still. I know the plans I have for me and I have to yield to God's plan but I often have the weird feeling that life is passing me by in some respects. Maybe I am paranoid and maybe I should take the cue to go forward and kick ass like I have never kicked ass to get to where I need to be next not forgetting that I am where I am for a reason and until I accomplish what needs to be done at this level, the next cannot be fully realized.

Monogamy's a hellava drug...

Relationships are what sustain us and make us truly human. Relationships seem to always be so prevalent in my life as a topic because there are so many types of them and as I have stated I am a people person. I value relationships of all kinds although sometimes those relationships may not be exactly what we want, but they usually turn out to be exactly what we need at that moment in time. One of my friends just recently proposed to his girlfriend and as of late I have been telling him that he is my hero. Well to be honest, I have alot of heroes who are married and work it out everyday. Like my parents, they have been married 40 years and they have seen so much in their lives such as how much society has changed. I often wonder about making that move, being married and working to make it work.

On my last job, I was surrounded by some REAL jaded married people. Seeing this and then being constantly asked when I was getting married made me ask myself, What's the point? It seemed then (and somewhat so now) that all married people do is complain. Being in a relationship and one that is long distance poses challenges, especially when it seems like the MINUTE you get involved with someone then every single woman you were looking for while you were single decides to come out the house and talk to you. I have always found this phenomena to be so hilarious yet aggravating. I could do nothing but laugh at myself and have a laugh with the other fellas at the "married or involved" table at the club this past Friday. We went down to Richmond to celebrate a friend's birthday and talk about a club packed with women...well I was and am always on my best behavior but of course you know we did get approached for one reason or another while we were there sippin on drinks, just chillin and having a good time. What is that all about, I mean the joke is that "attached dudes seem to be more attractive to women than unattached men". Is that based on the idea that we truly want what we cannot have? I always have to keep laughing because I find so much of how life unfolds to be funny. Maybe the big man upstairs in his infinite control and wisdom has a sense of humor after all? What do you think about all of this? I am always open to new ways of thinking about this and other relationship issues. Holla back at me!

Things just arent like they used to be...

With all that has gone on in my life in the last few years, I take the following saying very much to heart: "Do not regret growing old, many are denied the priviledge." I thank God everyday for another day, although I will admit that some days I am not as appreciative as I should be, mainly because I am focused on things that dont amount to a hill of beans. If we stop to reflect, there are some folks going through some real...and I mean REAL stuff that makes out complaints seem minute. Although I relish what I have and not take too much for granted, getting older does "hurt" a bit. I now have a bit of a gut, I need fiber in my diet and my hair looks better when it is cut very close to hide the obvious bald spot. Hell, I havent had waves in my hair since about 1989! I remember being a big, yet kind of trim guy...I was an athlete in high school and in college I played intramurals and worked out. Since that time getting out in the "real" world of work, sitting at a desk or lab bench has taken a bit of a toll on the kid. I keep saying to myself "I want my track body back" as I walk towards the freezer and scoop out some Vanilla Sandwich ice cream into a bowl. Yeah, it bad (BTW, that ice cream is awesome!) but I know what I need to do. Time is the enemy of all things, living and not. We know that we are on earth for a predestined time and every second, that time gets shorter. What do we have to do? We have to begin to appreciate and use every moment to our best ability...to treat our bodies well, to laugh with a friend, to hug your mom, dad, brother, niece, nephew, sister, to work towards a goal, to work not out of necessity but to work because it is what you truly want to do (and yes that is HARD to do). I have got some work to do on me and I started last night by pulling out my MCAT review book and making one last attempt to try to get into med school. I think that I have made peace with the possibility that I may not achieve that goal but instead I have to, if necessary direct my energy towards finding that job that I skip to everyday because I love it so much. And so it begins, a new journey to another place in my life while there is still ample strength in my body and mind knowing that time is drawing up. I look forward to all that is in front of me and not dwelling on what I leave behind.

Just another day in the A.C.

Just created this blog spot page and I have about 5+ minutes on my lunch break remaining until it is back to the grind until 5 (or somewhere afterwards). I wanted to start this out by saying most of what I envision here may or may not be earth shattering. I think I need to start blogging again to get out of my head alot of good ideas, bad ideas, interesting converations etc. I am very much a people person and I think deeply about alot of things (living alone lends alot to that). Of course, thinking deeply gives you perspective (hopefully) and clarity (we pray) on the issue (s) that are at hand. I find myself now at yet another crossroad in life with a temporarily "misplaced" life compass. Dont get me wrong, things are good I just know they could be better in so many ways. For now, I have to be content with the steady improvement in job performance, pay, living condition and relationships that I have with family, friends and significant other. As the title states, it is just another day in the A.C. (Albemarle County, Virginia) and I am your host for as my blog url states: Nuclear Extroversion. Stay tuned...