The dangerous power of celebrity

Steve Harvey...what can I say about you that most won't or can't say. From everything that I have heard about this man, I was not at all impressed when I saw he wrote a book on relationships. I know people who have met him and all have said he is a major asshole. Now when one person says it, you may be able to just shrug it off. When multiple people say it, there must be something to it. On top of the fact that he comes off as an arrogant jackass, his personal life is no secret. As you may well know, he is divorced and scandal has been attributed to his divorces. Now his most current ex-wife is speaking out and that prompted me to revisit the question: "Why is he a best selling author of books on relationships?"

My wife and I had a discussion on this question and the consensus was simple and unfortunate, most black folks are willing to "forgive" him for his mistakes and that writing a book is his way of learning from his mistakes? Huh?? Are you listening to yourself??? We all make mistakes, that is life. We learn from those mistakes and press on to be better people. How has he learned and become a better person. From what I can tell, he is still making the same mistakes over and over again. I have a problem taking any type of moral direction from someone whose moral compass works in a circular pattern. So why do we as black folks take this? Are we just that hard up for life direction and focus that we will just take advice from anyone. That is like asking someone for directions when you are lost while driving and the person doesn't just say they don't know, they instead just gives you what they think is the right way to go. In that scenario, one or two things may happen, you may get to your destination (albeit haphazardly) or you end up more lost that when you started your journey.

What has to happen? Is it too much to ask or to expect that individuals look closely at the source of life information before accepting it? Why do we put so much faith in the words of celebrities and politicians? Are they not human and fallible as well??? If you bought his book, I hope you got something out it and that your relationships are better for it. I would wager strongly that you are as lost now as you were before the book.

Wildin out Wednesday: Blog rewind...yeah...yeah the Diddy Remix!

Working on that new blog but thought I would remix one for you. This is from Sept 25, 2006, I featured one of my poems in this one. I have always enjoyed writing, even as a young man in school. I had a teacher who strongly encouraged my creativity and I had lots of it. I dont think much has changed in that regard but I have less time to sit in front of a computer and write my novels that I have started. I even have a couple of screenplay ideas that me and my ex were working on together but they sit in my laptop stagnant. I just hope no one pisses on these ideas before I can finish them. I never considered myself a writer of poetry, I would try but nothing ever sounded right. What I have come to realize is one needs inspiration...a muse if you will. So mine came from women (those I had met), life experience and well....SEX! Just keeping it real! If you are good, maybe I will dip into the raunchy collection sometime. Instead, here is my ode to my favorite thing...Music. In my last relationship, I was the music expert and my ex was the movie guru. In addition to her obsessive love of football, it was perfect! Funny how some stuff just doesnt quite work out. Here is the rewind:

Yesterday I downloaded some new music for my iPod and when I went to bed I was listening to the music intently and it reminded me of times gone by. The good, the bad, the parties and even the alone times (like now). Lately as I ride the bus back and forth across grounds at school, the bus has been my time to listen to music, reflect, be entertained and as of late I have figured out some things about myself. As I sang Domino by Van Morrison, I thought about one of a few poems I wrote and thought I would share. I really never wrote alot of poetry because I never thought I was any good at it. But one thing I have learned, emotion is your best liquor for writing poetry. When you are in love, everything is so much more vibrant, brighter and sweeter. When love leaves, you can feed off of that pain, hurt and despair. Well because of both of those scenarios, I now have a bit of a small poetry collection. And I have managed to write a poem or two I guess you could say on the fly with just the raw emotion of the moment guiding my brain, heart and pen. I have recieved some good feedback and this wasn't one of my best, I think you may get what I am saying. Enjoy:

Music
Music swirls around in my head
Many descriptions
Many sights
Many sounds
Years and decades gone by
Folks have stepped onto Terra Firma
Many have exited
Others have crossed my path
What were you doing when?
OMD told us what they would become
“If you leave”
When did you fall in love with hip-hop?
In the park
Probably one of the top 10 hottest
Summers I can remember
And that stupid DJ
At my family reunion in Pennsylvania
Sure, his music was the bomb
But his sound effects
And his mic skills were wack
If only I could download
What is in my mind
Onto a CD
These would be some of the best
Memories of all time
Maybe that’s why
I love music so much

WKG 7/22/03©

For more log onto:
www.thesepoemssuck.com

The Common Demoninator is YOU...

Although this is the wasteland period for sports (after NBA hangs it up for a bit and baseball rages on until thanksgiving), that special moment occurs for me that gives me so much hope and happiness. FOOTBALL season is coming...bright and early in the morning! (proverbially that is!) Been doing some reading, watching the news, SportsCenter etc and it just hit me that my happy place is returning soon. It is funny how a sport makes you think about relationships. Now as I stated earlier, I am all about relationships whether they are romantic, friendship, working etc. they are the bonds that drive our lives and direct our motivations in alot of ways. So I got to thinking about football and my pro team and their new coach. (Ok, I am a Redskins fan...say what you will but maybe we will finally get it right) The owner Daniel Snyder has had 9 head coaches (some were interim) in almost 10 years of ownership. My 4 year old niece can do that math, after the 3rd or 4th coach you may want to to some introspection Mr. Snyder. It is almost akin to ther person who gets married and divorced 4-6 times and they ask themselves "why cant i stay married?" So what do you think is the problem for Snyder, who has had 9 coaches or the person who has multiple marriages? What thing do they have in common in every relationship?

A. Lack of communication
B. Ike Turner/Joan Crawford complex
C. YOU
D. None of the above...and stop asking me multi choice questions like we are in school!

If you picked C, you are either highly intelligent or you read the title of my blog. If you picked D, go back to Kindergarten!!! I think self-introspection is missing in our society, among people in general. You have to wonder what makes people so dilusional and unrealistic about their talents, relationships and abilities. Now, let me qualify this by saying that I believe that if you put your mind to something and work at it, it can be achieved. However, there has to be a point that where you work for something and if it isnt quite going so well or you arent achieving or even you get the same reaction everytime you attempt something where someone takes you aside and says "maybe this isnt for you" then maybe it is time to pick some new knitting. Working in academia for a few years, I saw so many students fall short in their goals and you want to be encouraging but when the failure is consistent and with little improvement in outcomes and personal habits, you dont want to give false hope to someone that in the future has a big responsibilty in their job and what they do (or not do) could affect someone's life in a major way. I appreciate self-introspection and those who recognize that they have limits and do not try to cross those limits. It is a character trait we more of, I can respect you more if you tell me you cant do something instead of doing it and making the situation that much worse. I think that is something we all can live with and agree on. I'm out like Cross-Colors...

Monogamy's a hellava drug...

Relationships are what sustain us and make us truly human. Relationships seem to always be so prevalent in my life as a topic because there are so many types of them and as I have stated I am a people person. I value relationships of all kinds although sometimes those relationships may not be exactly what we want, but they usually turn out to be exactly what we need at that moment in time. One of my friends just recently proposed to his girlfriend and as of late I have been telling him that he is my hero. Well to be honest, I have alot of heroes who are married and work it out everyday. Like my parents, they have been married 40 years and they have seen so much in their lives such as how much society has changed. I often wonder about making that move, being married and working to make it work.

On my last job, I was surrounded by some REAL jaded married people. Seeing this and then being constantly asked when I was getting married made me ask myself, What's the point? It seemed then (and somewhat so now) that all married people do is complain. Being in a relationship and one that is long distance poses challenges, especially when it seems like the MINUTE you get involved with someone then every single woman you were looking for while you were single decides to come out the house and talk to you. I have always found this phenomena to be so hilarious yet aggravating. I could do nothing but laugh at myself and have a laugh with the other fellas at the "married or involved" table at the club this past Friday. We went down to Richmond to celebrate a friend's birthday and talk about a club packed with women...well I was and am always on my best behavior but of course you know we did get approached for one reason or another while we were there sippin on drinks, just chillin and having a good time. What is that all about, I mean the joke is that "attached dudes seem to be more attractive to women than unattached men". Is that based on the idea that we truly want what we cannot have? I always have to keep laughing because I find so much of how life unfolds to be funny. Maybe the big man upstairs in his infinite control and wisdom has a sense of humor after all? What do you think about all of this? I am always open to new ways of thinking about this and other relationship issues. Holla back at me!