Rewind Time

Note: Leaving town today for a few days to ring in 2010 and to take care of a few matters. If the time and the inspiration hits me, you may get some new stuff. Until then, let me leave you with a rewind blog. I wrote this one on my former blog home, Yahoo 360. Shout out to my blog homie from the 360 days Original Glamazon! Enjoy this and to you and yours have a safe and blessed New Year. Don't drive drunk and do what you do if it is FUN and SAFE!!!

Sometimes church can be funny...

I like to observe things and people watch. Of course this can happen anywhere and anytime. Church is the one place where you can sit quietly and watch many things unfold but if these events unfold incorrectly, you have to fight like hell to not laugh out loud. For example:

We all aren't great singers and sometimes we get stuck next to someone who sings better or worse than us. There is one lady who sings very nice, I mean she sounds like she has been trained. But she sings so good, she sometimes drowns out the choir. I see folks in the choir looking real frustrated as they hear her voice go up a few octaves. I want to turn to her and really encourage her to don a robe and add to the already stellar, angelic singing occuring at the FRONT of the church. Of course the flip side to that is the person who sings so badly, they mess up your already bad singing and then you have a whole section sounding like Corky from Life Goes on.

As a young man learning the ways of how to dress properly (back in the day there was no "What Not to Wear, you either took someones advice on what to wear or you got clowned) I was taught that you do not wear striped shirts with a striped tie. And what do I see, a gentleman wearing a Fruit Stripe Gum shirt (Yeah, you remember Fruit Stripe Gum) and a striped tie. My eyes watered when I saw the combination and I quickly had to regain my composure as I was going to communion. Wow, that combination was louder than Joe Clair in a wind tunnel!

Why are some of these young mothers wearing revealing clothing to CHURCH?! There is this one young lady who wears jeans every Sunday and those jokers are low riders! So when she decided to dress up in a nice pantsuit, the pants were low riding! Geez, we are there to repent and here you are trying to sell us some crack! Get behind me Satan!!!!

I can say this, it seems I have been getting lucky with those sitting around me and their breath. Either that or these folks have been doing what they need to do....BRUSH THEIR TEETH! Remember, a brush at night needs to be reinforced in the morning, the cavity creeps are just that, they like to creep around your dry ass mouth at night! So when you wake in the morning, that green cloud around your head is from the war the just finished fighting in your mouth! So fight fire with fire, brush your breath with some toothpaste and wash it out with some Listerine! Because Listerine kills the germs that cause bad breath!

Who knew getting your weekly dose of Jesus could be so entertaining?

Pimps? Damn, it's Hard Out Here For Everybody!

Good morning all, thought I would hit you with a blog rewind. I wrote this one on June 7, 2006 when the economy was crazy but not as hellish as it is now. Enjoy, hit you with some fresh out the oven blogs later...

No disrespect to pimps (shout outs to Pimpin Ken and Bishop Magic Don Juan) but I went to Wal-Mart last night and I observed people shopping as I was and I saw the faces of sticker shock. I mean wages are flat (ain't nobody getting a raise and some of us work all the time!) and everything is steadily going up! Even the prospect of education which is supposed to mean a better standard of living is out of reach. We have to incur massive debt just to work hard enough to get by, in the words of Johnny "Guitar" Watson..."Aint that a Bitch"! But really, if you think about the song and I know you saw "Pimps up, Hos Down" is it really hard out here for a pimp? Technically, they ain't doing shit!!! I guess it is hard out here for a pimp to give orders! It is hard out here for the poor man!

Submitted for your disapproval:

1. The last couple of weeks, I was noticing that gas had got down to aroung 2.60 a gallon. I got excited, my heart started beating wildly in my chest, I started to sweat and I got a bit lightheaded. Could we see gas under 2.00 a gallon soon I thought? Actually, I was under the influence of the fumes of the 10% Ethanol in the gas as I pumped $25 into my 4 cylinder Sentra. So I guess I was high for once in my life. Those oil company executives should be shot...yet another example of pimpery at it's finest. As soon as we all make the money, we go running to the pumps for gas so it's like payout to the oil pimps.

2. I haven't seen this many bank robberies in the news since I was a child. I thought bank robbery was played out considering the technology that aids police in catching the thieves (ask the cell phone bandit about that...dumbass!!) and CSI has us believing we can extract DNA from anything and voila...I GOT YO ASS!! It's got to be pretty tight out here when you walk into a bank in the middle of summer with a gun, a sweatshirt and pantyhose on your head looking to run off with a sack of dough!

3. How about Lay and Skilling at Enron? Now you either have to be a heartless SOB or just plain greedy to do what they did to those people. The working man don't stand a chance. You make better time keeping your nest egg in a Mason jar under your mattress with a pit bull standing guard instead of investing. The man will find a way to get his and get yours. And after the verdict was read, how about one of them still insisted he was innocent and plans to appeal? If I was a member of the press corps and I heard that ignant ass shit (yes, not ignornant...ignant) I would have taken my microphone and knocked the cowboy shit out of him!

MC Hammer said it best, We got to pray just to make it today. Which makes me wonder...is it hard out here for Hammer too?

Excuse me, can I redeem this after I kick your ass? Hummp Day Rewind

I had something...then I go to work and damn I cant find it! I am talking about my topics for blogging today. They will return soon enough and I have sometime tonight to sit down and give a nice blog that hopefully will not be about politics...but I always say that lately in light of the election and the results. As I always say...stay tuned! So in my ongoing effort to catalog my old blogs, here is a hummp day rewind for you! It is a short one, I had a thought about something and voila!!! Enjoy!

I think we all should write our congressman and senators to create and pass a bill where as a United States citizen in addition to all of the rights inherent in citizenship, we should also be given ONE Get out of Jail Free Card. The card has stipulations, the most primary or important one being that this card cannot get you out of anything that is premeditated, it has to be a spur of the moment type thing...like when your boss finally pushes you to the edge and you just cannot deal and you just decide to go upside their head just to prove a point that you are not to be f*cked with and they were wrong for ever pushing your buttons in the first place. I mean the card works great in Monopoly, maybe it could work in real life?

Wildin out Wednesday: Blog rewind...yeah...yeah the Diddy Remix!

Working on that new blog but thought I would remix one for you. This is from Sept 25, 2006, I featured one of my poems in this one. I have always enjoyed writing, even as a young man in school. I had a teacher who strongly encouraged my creativity and I had lots of it. I dont think much has changed in that regard but I have less time to sit in front of a computer and write my novels that I have started. I even have a couple of screenplay ideas that me and my ex were working on together but they sit in my laptop stagnant. I just hope no one pisses on these ideas before I can finish them. I never considered myself a writer of poetry, I would try but nothing ever sounded right. What I have come to realize is one needs inspiration...a muse if you will. So mine came from women (those I had met), life experience and well....SEX! Just keeping it real! If you are good, maybe I will dip into the raunchy collection sometime. Instead, here is my ode to my favorite thing...Music. In my last relationship, I was the music expert and my ex was the movie guru. In addition to her obsessive love of football, it was perfect! Funny how some stuff just doesnt quite work out. Here is the rewind:

Yesterday I downloaded some new music for my iPod and when I went to bed I was listening to the music intently and it reminded me of times gone by. The good, the bad, the parties and even the alone times (like now). Lately as I ride the bus back and forth across grounds at school, the bus has been my time to listen to music, reflect, be entertained and as of late I have figured out some things about myself. As I sang Domino by Van Morrison, I thought about one of a few poems I wrote and thought I would share. I really never wrote alot of poetry because I never thought I was any good at it. But one thing I have learned, emotion is your best liquor for writing poetry. When you are in love, everything is so much more vibrant, brighter and sweeter. When love leaves, you can feed off of that pain, hurt and despair. Well because of both of those scenarios, I now have a bit of a small poetry collection. And I have managed to write a poem or two I guess you could say on the fly with just the raw emotion of the moment guiding my brain, heart and pen. I have recieved some good feedback and this wasn't one of my best, I think you may get what I am saying. Enjoy:

Music
Music swirls around in my head
Many descriptions
Many sights
Many sounds
Years and decades gone by
Folks have stepped onto Terra Firma
Many have exited
Others have crossed my path
What were you doing when?
OMD told us what they would become
“If you leave”
When did you fall in love with hip-hop?
In the park
Probably one of the top 10 hottest
Summers I can remember
And that stupid DJ
At my family reunion in Pennsylvania
Sure, his music was the bomb
But his sound effects
And his mic skills were wack
If only I could download
What is in my mind
Onto a CD
These would be some of the best
Memories of all time
Maybe that’s why
I love music so much

WKG 7/22/03©

For more log onto:
www.thesepoemssuck.com

Takin them heads back...nah son, nah!

I have a blog on Yahoo 360, Yahoo's social experiement in trying to create community. After about 3 years, the whole idea has fizzled as I have watched friends fall by the wayside, delete their accounts and sporadic logons. I think I wrote some really good blogs there and I think it will take me a minute to get back up to speed with good, clever writing here on blogger. So for now, enjoy one of my favs from November 2006:

The Cussin blog or Cursing is for motherf*ckers who can't express themselves

I sometimes tell people that I speak three languages, Spanish, English and Profanity. I like to think I am fluent in the last 2. The argument is that people who curse are not able to express themselves in a constructive manner. In my opinion, nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, I think it takes a really creative mind to string together a good line of four letter words in order to get ones point across. Think about it, we know people who curse just for the sake of cursing and those who can curse with a "purpose" and can clearly get their point across. Hell, if you are really good about it you may have folks scared to come near you because they think you are crazy. Confused? Let me provide an illustration to show what I am talking about. Lets look at a conversation between two people: we'll call them Jack and Jill.

Jack: Hey Jill, I had some Ice Cream sandwiches in the freezer were there any left?

Jill: Yeah, there was one left

Jack: I guess you ate it?

Jill: Yeah

Jack: I really had my mouth set on an Ice Cream Sandwich

Jill: Well, you can get some more.

Boring conversation, wasn't it? Now lets look at the cursing version of this conversation:

Jack: Hey Jill, I had some Ice Cream sandwiches in the freezer were there any left?

Jill: Yeah, what there was one left. What the fuck about it!

Jack: Shit! I guess you ate that last one!

Jill: Hell Yeah!

Jack: Well damn! I really had my mouth set on an Ice Cream Sandwich you greedy bitch!

Jill: Well, man up and carry your punk ass to the store and buy another fuckin box!

I think Jack and Jill really cleared the air and resolved their issues over said ice cream sandwich in that converation. What do you think? So in summary, dont think of cursing as being unable to effectively express yourself. Instead think of the four letter word as the pepper or salt of your everyday language. We can use cursing to wake up the flavor of our communication, better get our points across when used effectively and can be used as a very efficient way to provide a protective barrier by establishing that you are not to be fucked with.