Rewind Time

Note: Leaving town today for a few days to ring in 2010 and to take care of a few matters. If the time and the inspiration hits me, you may get some new stuff. Until then, let me leave you with a rewind blog. I wrote this one on my former blog home, Yahoo 360. Shout out to my blog homie from the 360 days Original Glamazon! Enjoy this and to you and yours have a safe and blessed New Year. Don't drive drunk and do what you do if it is FUN and SAFE!!!

Sometimes church can be funny...

I like to observe things and people watch. Of course this can happen anywhere and anytime. Church is the one place where you can sit quietly and watch many things unfold but if these events unfold incorrectly, you have to fight like hell to not laugh out loud. For example:

We all aren't great singers and sometimes we get stuck next to someone who sings better or worse than us. There is one lady who sings very nice, I mean she sounds like she has been trained. But she sings so good, she sometimes drowns out the choir. I see folks in the choir looking real frustrated as they hear her voice go up a few octaves. I want to turn to her and really encourage her to don a robe and add to the already stellar, angelic singing occuring at the FRONT of the church. Of course the flip side to that is the person who sings so badly, they mess up your already bad singing and then you have a whole section sounding like Corky from Life Goes on.

As a young man learning the ways of how to dress properly (back in the day there was no "What Not to Wear, you either took someones advice on what to wear or you got clowned) I was taught that you do not wear striped shirts with a striped tie. And what do I see, a gentleman wearing a Fruit Stripe Gum shirt (Yeah, you remember Fruit Stripe Gum) and a striped tie. My eyes watered when I saw the combination and I quickly had to regain my composure as I was going to communion. Wow, that combination was louder than Joe Clair in a wind tunnel!

Why are some of these young mothers wearing revealing clothing to CHURCH?! There is this one young lady who wears jeans every Sunday and those jokers are low riders! So when she decided to dress up in a nice pantsuit, the pants were low riding! Geez, we are there to repent and here you are trying to sell us some crack! Get behind me Satan!!!!

I can say this, it seems I have been getting lucky with those sitting around me and their breath. Either that or these folks have been doing what they need to do....BRUSH THEIR TEETH! Remember, a brush at night needs to be reinforced in the morning, the cavity creeps are just that, they like to creep around your dry ass mouth at night! So when you wake in the morning, that green cloud around your head is from the war the just finished fighting in your mouth! So fight fire with fire, brush your breath with some toothpaste and wash it out with some Listerine! Because Listerine kills the germs that cause bad breath!

Who knew getting your weekly dose of Jesus could be so entertaining?

Awkward Moments: Partying amongst Frienemies

I rarely have awkward moments at parties. When I arrive I see friends have lots of laughs and just chill. With all of that going on, where is there room for an awkward moment? Are you the person who is cool with everyone but the folks in the circle that you in have their interpersonal squabbles that makes your good relationships awkward? I never understood how that came about for me, I like to think I could get along with just about anyone and if I had a problem with someone I would either address the issue (most likely scenario) or just not associate myself with you (last resort either because the person has pissed me off or is a complete d-bag or biatch).

Last night I went a xmas party hosted by friends at their home. It was a good night for a xmas party, it was cold, the first snow of the season had fallen during the day and it just felt like a great Saturday night thing to do. As soon as I walked in, I scanned the room and there were folks congregating in different areas talking, dancing and drinking. Sounds like a good party, yes. But then something struck me as odd, like a tension but I ignored for a hot second as I saw a friend I had not seen in a while and then that feeling of tension came back. I realized that she was friends with me and had been associated with some of the other folks at the party but each party was at opposite ends of the room. We chatted for a few but at that point the die had been cast, things were officially awkward.

I hate feeling like this, kind of being the buffer amongst folks who aren't necessarily cool with each other. What's even more strange is when I am engaged in a conversation in short distance from the frienemy and my attention span splits between the conversation and observing the reaction of the other person and the resulting awkwardness from that situation. In work situations where this has happened, I have walked away hands in the air and hoping that the two opposite parties either figure it out or kill each other. Either way, I am no longer in the middle of your war!!!

Anyone have this problem, always feeling like you are constantly in the middle?