Awkward Moments: Partying amongst Frienemies

I rarely have awkward moments at parties. When I arrive I see friends have lots of laughs and just chill. With all of that going on, where is there room for an awkward moment? Are you the person who is cool with everyone but the folks in the circle that you in have their interpersonal squabbles that makes your good relationships awkward? I never understood how that came about for me, I like to think I could get along with just about anyone and if I had a problem with someone I would either address the issue (most likely scenario) or just not associate myself with you (last resort either because the person has pissed me off or is a complete d-bag or biatch).

Last night I went a xmas party hosted by friends at their home. It was a good night for a xmas party, it was cold, the first snow of the season had fallen during the day and it just felt like a great Saturday night thing to do. As soon as I walked in, I scanned the room and there were folks congregating in different areas talking, dancing and drinking. Sounds like a good party, yes. But then something struck me as odd, like a tension but I ignored for a hot second as I saw a friend I had not seen in a while and then that feeling of tension came back. I realized that she was friends with me and had been associated with some of the other folks at the party but each party was at opposite ends of the room. We chatted for a few but at that point the die had been cast, things were officially awkward.

I hate feeling like this, kind of being the buffer amongst folks who aren't necessarily cool with each other. What's even more strange is when I am engaged in a conversation in short distance from the frienemy and my attention span splits between the conversation and observing the reaction of the other person and the resulting awkwardness from that situation. In work situations where this has happened, I have walked away hands in the air and hoping that the two opposite parties either figure it out or kill each other. Either way, I am no longer in the middle of your war!!!

Anyone have this problem, always feeling like you are constantly in the middle?

Spirit of Doo Doo

Authors Note: The title is EXACTLY what you think I am going to talk about. Proceed at your own risk.

I hate taking a crap at work. At my last job, I hated it so much I would go to another building so I could have some privacy and blow up a spot where no one knew me. Since we didn’t have faculty/staff bathrooms and had to use the same facilities as the students, I didn’t want my business to be public record with my students. There were a few times where I would time it, like I knew when students would (or should be) in classes or they were not on campus. Sounds silly I know but you are talking to a guy who at home, if it gets real good while I am in the confines of my home facility will get butt naked. So I take the comfort and privacy thing to a whole new level…at home! Don’t get it twisted, hell when using a public facility, you barely want your clothes to touch anything let alone you butt to a toilet papered seat! When it is 5pm and you live in a town as small as mine, the trip home to take care of business is not as daunting as compared to rush hour in D.C. If you hold it in D.C. and hit that rush hour traffic, you may want to consider adult diapers because you might not make it. However, when you are sitting at your desk at 8am squirming in your seat, stomach is bumpin’ and you feel like you are crowning…a trip home is NOT going to happen. So as much as I hate to do so, I take a deep breath and make the walk to the bathroom.

Healthcare facilities are the scariest, dare I say notoriously disgusting places to get your business done. I used to work for the Public Health Department and I am glad that the lab I worked in had multiple facilities. On top of all of that, I worked in a restricted lab which had its own bathroom used by only a few folks. So needless to say I can go bomb in peace. (Bombing for peace, that’s like f*cking for virginity! Saw it on a T-shirt, can’t take credit…LOL)

Continuing with the healthcare theme, now my place of employment is a hospital and indeed I think this place is worse. What makes it bad is that the restrooms near my office is in a patient care area and are frequented by resident physicians. That hospital food coupled with the stress of them trying not to kill someone makes for the potential to walk into a restroom that has been “pre-blown up”. So on top of the fact that the person in front of you doesn’t understand the concept of courtesy flushing and there is no spray to be found you have to sit in funk to create more funk. And who puts raw ass on a public toilet seat anymore? I walked into one of these restrooms to take a leak and at the back of the seat was a small “remnant” from the last user. I am so glad that was after lunch, I was feeling a little queasy after that find!

One other place I think is not a good place for this is a bar. I will be the first to admit; I have NOT, hope NOT, and will NOT handle business in a bar. To make it worse, I am talking about a bar in a college town. You went to college; you know what goes on in college town bathrooms! You know folks are smacking it, flipping it and rubbing it down in addition to “normal” bathroom activities. Is it possible to wear an outbreak suit while doing your business? Yes, it would have to be GREATLY modified but I think you will be much better off using one.

Yeah, I admit that was a hell of a way to make a comeback. (DID YOU MISS ME!! LOL!!) You know you love it and you know you have a story to tell! Spill it! Just make sure you clean up afterwards! LOL!

Stand Up

I dont believe that this is the first post for September, the damn month is almost over! I guess time flies when you are having fun (or getting your ass handed to you...which ever applies). I reached the 36 plateau a little over a week ago, time for introspection and thankfulness. Introspection about where I have been, what I have seen and experienced. It hasnt been a bad ride, I just know that it keeps getting better even when it seems like things arent. Thankfullness because there are so many of us who arent here and in reality they should be. As the saying goes: Do not regret getting old, many are denied the priviledge.

I had a chance to get home to see my folks, my brother and family. When I get home, I so miss the familiarity of place. Living in Charlottesville for almost 2.5 years, I know where some stuff is, but Hampton Roads is tattooed (figuratively) in my mind and on my heart and soul. Believe in the power of the 7!!! (757..STAND UP!!!). Ok, had to get that out..thank you for indulging even if you didnt have a clue what the hell I was talking about. Just go look it up on Wikipedia or something!! LOL! Things have changed so much, but they still have the same feel. Maybe I might not get back there anytime soon, but when (and if I get back) it is on like Donkey Kong!!! Believe that!

I went to church at my home parish and when I left, I saw folks in the neighborhood with Obama signs in their yards. This election, when you look at it has generated so much emotion, good and bad. So many African-Americans are excited about electing one of their own to the White House and will be at the polls to cast their vote on Nov. 4th. But what about those who just arent excited about this in any way, shape or form? You know what I am talking about, that friend or family member who says..."I dont vote, the government is going to do what it wants to do. My vote doesn't mean anything." I think it would be hard pressed for me to feel that way, being a student of history and the signifcance of what a vote means to me as a black man in America.

My parents were young adults during the Civil Rights Movement. Even before the change in law in this country began occuring, they told me first hand accounts of experiencing going downtown and not being able to use the restroom. Think about that, apply it to today's standard. You go to your favorite mall or shopping center and you cant use the facilities? Your money is good here, but our bathrooms are off-limits to you, denial of the simplest of amenities. Hearing that and knowing the history that occured made me so aware of what sacrifices people made and what others had to endure so I can go to the poll on Nov 4th and cast a vote. It really boggles my mind that our young people are so apolitical, their thoughts are that since we have "won" the civil right movement that everything is good and they dont have to keep fighting. Nothing could be further from the truth as we well know.

I am not saying that all of our young people feel this way. Remember the massive turnout in support of the Jena 6? I bet those rednecks never thought that they would have seen so many young black folks ever in life! But that is the point I am trying to make, why dont they show up in mass like that on election day? If we (unfortunately) subtract from the population the high numbers of our young who have been or are incarcerated, we have a voice that could potentially be one that could shake the political establishment.

Things are so much more open nowadays, but that does not mean that racism does not exist. Growing up when I did, about 20+ years after the Civil Rights Movement there was progress but I experienced overt and covert racism. Overt is of course obvious, covert is so hard to see and even harder to understand especially when you are young and believe that things are equal. Since that time, we have seen unprecendented events where African-Americans have risen to the heights of politics, business and other fields of endeavour. These accomplishments give us hope in the promise of America. However, when we refuse as a society (especially those in control of our society) to acknowledge that there are forces which still resist change, we remain stagnant and false hope is the message that is sent to our minority youth.

I dont have all the answers, I just know what I see. Hip-hop has declined into a quagmire of violence and mysogony which is seen by some as normal. I have never been one to blame any problem on music of any type, but it is not helping to motivate this generation politically or uplifting them. Music is an outlet, if someone has a tough life then what they expose themselves to should be inspiring them to something better and not inspriring them to engage in what seems to be "the good life"(being gangster, not wanting to advance oneself). Who do they turn to in order to see that positivity is beneficial, especially in a society where no matter what good may come, many will still believe that blackness is negative? I pray that on Nov 4th we decide that enough is enough and Obama's presence as a positive force will inspire us to elect him and inspire us to strive higher...onward and upward. Make like autumn and be cool!