Sometimes church can be funny...
I like to observe things and people watch. Of course this can happen anywhere and anytime. Church is the one place where you can sit quietly and watch many things unfold but if these events unfold incorrectly, you have to fight like hell to not laugh out loud. For example:
We all aren't great singers and sometimes we get stuck next to someone who sings better or worse than us. There is one lady who sings very nice, I mean she sounds like she has been trained. But she sings so good, she sometimes drowns out the choir. I see folks in the choir looking real frustrated as they hear her voice go up a few octaves. I want to turn to her and really encourage her to don a robe and add to the already stellar, angelic singing occuring at the FRONT of the church. Of course the flip side to that is the person who sings so badly, they mess up your already bad singing and then you have a whole section sounding like Corky from Life Goes on.
As a young man learning the ways of how to dress properly (back in the day there was no "What Not to Wear, you either took someones advice on what to wear or you got clowned) I was taught that you do not wear striped shirts with a striped tie. And what do I see, a gentleman wearing a Fruit Stripe Gum shirt (Yeah, you remember Fruit Stripe Gum) and a striped tie. My eyes watered when I saw the combination and I quickly had to regain my composure as I was going to communion. Wow, that combination was louder than Joe Clair in a wind tunnel!
Why are some of these young mothers wearing revealing clothing to CHURCH?! There is this one young lady who wears jeans every Sunday and those jokers are low riders! So when she decided to dress up in a nice pantsuit, the pants were low riding! Geez, we are there to repent and here you are trying to sell us some crack! Get behind me Satan!!!!
I can say this, it seems I have been getting lucky with those sitting around me and their breath. Either that or these folks have been doing what they need to do....BRUSH THEIR TEETH! Remember, a brush at night needs to be reinforced in the morning, the cavity creeps are just that, they like to creep around your dry ass mouth at night! So when you wake in the morning, that green cloud around your head is from the war the just finished fighting in your mouth! So fight fire with fire, brush your breath with some toothpaste and wash it out with some Listerine! Because Listerine kills the germs that cause bad breath!
Who knew getting your weekly dose of Jesus could be so entertaining?
We all aren't great singers and sometimes we get stuck next to someone who sings better or worse than us. There is one lady who sings very nice, I mean she sounds like she has been trained. But she sings so good, she sometimes drowns out the choir. I see folks in the choir looking real frustrated as they hear her voice go up a few octaves. I want to turn to her and really encourage her to don a robe and add to the already stellar, angelic singing occuring at the FRONT of the church. Of course the flip side to that is the person who sings so badly, they mess up your already bad singing and then you have a whole section sounding like Corky from Life Goes on.
As a young man learning the ways of how to dress properly (back in the day there was no "What Not to Wear, you either took someones advice on what to wear or you got clowned) I was taught that you do not wear striped shirts with a striped tie. And what do I see, a gentleman wearing a Fruit Stripe Gum shirt (Yeah, you remember Fruit Stripe Gum) and a striped tie. My eyes watered when I saw the combination and I quickly had to regain my composure as I was going to communion. Wow, that combination was louder than Joe Clair in a wind tunnel!
Why are some of these young mothers wearing revealing clothing to CHURCH?! There is this one young lady who wears jeans every Sunday and those jokers are low riders! So when she decided to dress up in a nice pantsuit, the pants were low riding! Geez, we are there to repent and here you are trying to sell us some crack! Get behind me Satan!!!!
I can say this, it seems I have been getting lucky with those sitting around me and their breath. Either that or these folks have been doing what they need to do....BRUSH THEIR TEETH! Remember, a brush at night needs to be reinforced in the morning, the cavity creeps are just that, they like to creep around your dry ass mouth at night! So when you wake in the morning, that green cloud around your head is from the war the just finished fighting in your mouth! So fight fire with fire, brush your breath with some toothpaste and wash it out with some Listerine! Because Listerine kills the germs that cause bad breath!
Who knew getting your weekly dose of Jesus could be so entertaining?
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