I support black, not ignorant

I think alot of confusion has come about in the age of "hatin" where if one does not subscribe to what is hot, not or black then you are classified as a hater. Thinking long and hard about this, I really could not accurately (not enough to give it justice) define what hatin' or being a hater is. Now I gotta go to school on you and pull out, yes...THE URBAN DICTIONARY to provide some clarity on this.

Hater: A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

Hatin': Sayin bad things about/puttin someone down because they have something that you want

So basically, it all boils down to one word: jealousy! As the title of the blog states, I support my sistas and brothas provided what they are doing is positive and makes a bit of damn sense. I had a former co-worker who took this to an extreme and supported black even though the intent of the person may be kind of questionable. Which leads me to wonder how pervasive is this type of thinking when it comes to people's reactions when someone says "I'm not supporting Tyler Perry's new movie" or "I don't like Beyonce, she can't act/sing/whatever." Does a statement like that classify someone as a hater? Let's analyze this.

I will be honest, not a Beyonce fan. There are songs of her's I like but not a fan of her singing and her acting is even worse. She couldn't play a corpse on CSI, lets be real here! Now in saying that I am just offering an opinion of how I judge her talent. Her success is great, she is popular and that is why one works hard and grinds to enjoy the benefits of success. So does my opinion of her make me a hater? I have not said that i envy her success and hopes she fails. On the contrary, I hope that she continues to entertain the masses but in the same regard become better at it. I think as a people we have become a bit too sensitive especially now that we come from more and more diverse backgrounds. I am a lover of music...good music and what passes today for music does not get my approval or support. If you are good, I will give you credit. Doesn't mean I have to like you, I just either support or not support you. No jealousy involved, to be able to sing, act or be creative and to touch a life with it is simply a gift from God. We need to take better care as to use certain terminology when we describe what we percieve as the actions of others. Lastly, we need to return to better respecting the opinions of others. Diversity in thought makes us better, stronger. I like that black folks do things differently and that we are all aren't the same in how we think. I like that better than being a lemming. Thoughts greatly appreciated!

Death by Hubris

The Notre Dame football drama has been thick for about two weeks but today it will come to an end. At 1pm Eastern, a press conference is scheduled to introduce Cincinnati coach Brian Kelly as the 17th coach of the program. This occurs after 5 years of failure (dare I say karma) under Charlie Weis to restore the luster of the golden helmet as a power in college football. Sadly, I think ND's slump into football mediocity was self imposed and it began with the firing of Tyrone Willingham. I was outraged that Willingham didn't get at least 5 years to get it together. At that time, ND seemed to be headed in the right direction and maybe they could get back to the promised land. But after a winning season, a season that didn't produce a national championship or a major bowl appearance, Willingham was let go prompting outrage among African-American's who felt he didn't get a fair shake considering coaches at ND with worse records were permitted to coach and finish their contract before they were released.

I grew up a ND fan, hey how can you be Catholic and not I thought! The 90's under Lou Holtz were a golden age for the golden domers, consistent winners, top 10 finishes and the 1989 national championship. And who could forget the epic battles against Miami, those were some great days! After Willingham was dismissed and ND went on a search for their "great white hope", I lost all interest in their program and watched with a bit of delight as Weis tried and failed to revive the program. Weis, a protege of Bill Parcells is all his former boss, arrogant and unapologetic. But I can say this about Parcells, he was a winner although you didn't like him very much.

But as conferences have grown, bowl alliances have changed so has the landscape of college football. ND continues to be an independent in football but aligning itself with the Big East for all other sports. Top that off with having an exclusive TV contract with NBC and you have all the makings of a program that continues to find ways to cut the oxygen off to it's dying legacy in college football. High School players these days can only take so much of hearing about the classic days of a program, they want to know what can you do for me now! ND continues to harp on their legacy and uses that as why they don't want to join a conference. Unfortnately in the age of "What have you done for me lately", it may be time with a new coach and a possible revival joining a conference may help to save the program from sinking to the depth of what the majority of programs view as success. That would be seasons of 7-5, 8-4. 9-3 etc. as opposed to 12-0 and national championships. I will watch today's press conference with keen interest and I hope Coach Kelly will have some success. Maybe he is what ND needs to get back onteh natinoal scene, he seems genuine and put Cincy (a basketball school) on the football map for the time being. I hope Cincy will not fall into obscurity, that does seem likely but only time will tell.

The obligatory Tiger Woods blog

I was really, really, really trying to avoid this. Everyone in the world is talking about this guy and now that the dust has settled a bit, what is left to be said about the world's greatest golfer and his ladies? First off, it appears that Tiger is human!! Oh no, newsflash...can we get that to ESPN's Bottomline right now! Yes people, he plays a game like an indestructible, superman. What we have found out is that his kryptonite is the booty, the same kryptonite that has brought down alot of famous men. I am not defending what he has done, he cheated on his wife and that should not be given a pass. What he realizes though is that he has made a grave mistake, is very remorseful for his actions which not only affect him, but also his children who are not old enough to know what is happening but will one day read or hear about it.

When this story first broke, I knew that many would lose all respect for him. Not only because he had such a squeaky clean image but also because he plays golf, a very exclusionary sport and a mostly white sport. Many look at golf as the last bastion of civility, self defined as a "gentlemanly game." I don't know about you, but I think there is no such thing as a civil sport nor there ever was. Mainstream sports like baseball and football have dished their dirt and continues to do so even more in this age of twitter and tell all books. The reason we know more about other sports like Tennis and Golf is because of how they have crept onto our radar and their names are as familiar to us as the heroes of the past in more well known sports. Andre Agassi in his autobiography told about drug abuse while he played pro tennis. Drug abuse in pro tennis? I can see the outrage of many who either are in disbelief or are mad that he told. If all of this is going on in Tennis, why should golf be any different? These are men playing a game and are being held to a gentlemen's standard that probably died off in the 60's. Tiger has the pressure of being the best in his sport, being black in his sport and dealing with scrutiny of being married to a white woman, a woman who was the nanny to a tour competitor (more about him in a minute). So I suspect at this point, the whole house of cards has come crashing down around him as his reputation takes a gigantic blow, he has in the eyes of some has smashed the civility and pureness of the game and has put himself on the list of brothas who while married to a white woman just couldn't keep it in his pants.

I agree that he owes no explanation to any of us. He has enough problems that he has to address and wounds at home to heal. If he wants to tell what he feels is important, then so be it. I feel like what has happened is between him and his wife. The other women in all of this are your worse type of groupie, you got him, he gave you some "Buy you some shit and shut up money" but you still want to tell it all. I thought there was a code or rule book for both parties in a high finance cheating situation? Well as these women have proved, there is no honor among jumpoffs!

Jesper Parnevik, the golfer whom Tiger's wife Elin worked for when he met her publicly ripped him a few days post incident. Parnevik stated he wished he had never introduced them and he felt like he owed Elin an apology. That's funny, but isn't that kind of fucked up? I wonder how Tiger felt about that. If I was him, I would have to text him and say "I wish I could hear you over all my major championships and this billion dollar bank account...bitch!" Just straight hateration and that's from a fellow tour member. Just try and imagine how some of the fans feel?

When asked today on the Dan Patrick Show about Tiger's situation, Charles Barkley offered a wide range of opinions but this was the best one. Sir Charles talked about when he got his DUI not too long ago and how many people (those he knew well as well as the media) ripped him about his behavior. Barkley took note of those folks and he made sure that he ripped them or will rip them when they do something stupid. He suggested that Tiger do the same, cause you know they talking. Tiger, I would suggest putting Mr. Parnevik Number One with a bullet on that list!!

Class dismissed...

Awkward Moments: Partying amongst Frienemies

I rarely have awkward moments at parties. When I arrive I see friends have lots of laughs and just chill. With all of that going on, where is there room for an awkward moment? Are you the person who is cool with everyone but the folks in the circle that you in have their interpersonal squabbles that makes your good relationships awkward? I never understood how that came about for me, I like to think I could get along with just about anyone and if I had a problem with someone I would either address the issue (most likely scenario) or just not associate myself with you (last resort either because the person has pissed me off or is a complete d-bag or biatch).

Last night I went a xmas party hosted by friends at their home. It was a good night for a xmas party, it was cold, the first snow of the season had fallen during the day and it just felt like a great Saturday night thing to do. As soon as I walked in, I scanned the room and there were folks congregating in different areas talking, dancing and drinking. Sounds like a good party, yes. But then something struck me as odd, like a tension but I ignored for a hot second as I saw a friend I had not seen in a while and then that feeling of tension came back. I realized that she was friends with me and had been associated with some of the other folks at the party but each party was at opposite ends of the room. We chatted for a few but at that point the die had been cast, things were officially awkward.

I hate feeling like this, kind of being the buffer amongst folks who aren't necessarily cool with each other. What's even more strange is when I am engaged in a conversation in short distance from the frienemy and my attention span splits between the conversation and observing the reaction of the other person and the resulting awkwardness from that situation. In work situations where this has happened, I have walked away hands in the air and hoping that the two opposite parties either figure it out or kill each other. Either way, I am no longer in the middle of your war!!!

Anyone have this problem, always feeling like you are constantly in the middle?

P.S., I Love You Paula Patton

I saw Precious this past weekend with my mom, aunt and my dad. After watching that movie, seeing my beloved Cavaliers get crushed again by Va Tech was uplifting. The movie wasn't too bad, just sad. I want to know more about this novel and is it based on true events or not. But what got me about the movie was the cast. For a minute I didn't recognize Ms. Blue and then it hit me...Paula Patton! My aunt looked at me during one point in the movie when she was on the screen and I must have been grinning like a horny teenager. Yeah, I am not a hater but Robin Thicke made the "I'm hatin on you list" this past weekend! Whoo wee and damn...I think I would sit through that movie again just to see her!

The 80's called, they want their fashions back!

I have to remind myself that I work in close vicinity to a college campus in a college town. Depending on when I take lunch, I find myself in the between class rush of students. Now I am not a single man but that doesn't mean I can't look. Ahhh, youth and some of the young ladies...well this is a family blog! LOL!!! I hate to say this but the 80's are back!! I know, surprised? You shouldn't be, they say everything old is new again. I guess every generation brings back something that was way before their time but to see leggings, big sweaters, wayfarer sunglasses and popped collars on polo shirts ala Tom Cruise in Risky Business is a bit much. These youngins were just DNA when these fashions were out originally! Oh well, I just hope the 70's don't come back!

30 days to 2010: What I am feeling today.

Just as 2009 rolled in with much rejoicing and revelry, the year ends and time marches ever forward. I awoke today (late) got my stuff together and left for the job. My mind reflected on so many things, I thought about a friend who has just recently suffered a loss and the words "Time Marches On" just echoed in my head. As I child, I never knew what 2009 would look like. Hell, I don't think I had any concept of time. When does one develop that concept? I think growing up, the seasons was my way of telling time. There were certain things I looked forward to, going to football games with my dad ushered in fall as summer drew to a close, snow and blizzards are my fondest memories of winter, the chill of winter gave way to a certain smell and warmth in the air as spring came back around and of course summer and the heat while playing in the street and walking everywhere! The things one does when you are young! It's like heat didn't affect me at all as I ran up and down a basketball court in the middle of the day with no shirt! Now I hate walking outside to my car when it's over 100 degrees!! Life is a funny thing like that.

This past thanksgiving was one of the best I have had in a while. My cousins who I grew up with and I were under the same roof for the first time in years for thanksgiving. We laughed and joked like we had never stopped celebrating thanksgiving together. It makes me appreciate going home more because we don't know how much time we truly have. We all hope and for 4 score in 20 (that's from the bible...do the math..LOL!) and it is truly a blessing when someone can live that long or beyond. And as I reflect on that, I think more and more about my parents knowing that one day they will not be with me and my brother anymore. But I am so THANKFUL for them now and always because of the influence they have had on my life. I don't think I would be who I am today without them doing all that they have done. There is a new chapter in my life that is unfolding and I feel like I am ready for it all because my parents have been such good role models in so many ways from them encouraging me, letting me know when I get out of line (you know what happened there) and just being good people. It is a shame that so many of our youth don't have good role models. I guess I am infurated when I see kids acting out and all they need is some discipline instead of a parent who wants to be their friend and compromise with them. My parents believed in the belt and I got it when it was needed. These days, you so much as say belt and the child care services are kicking in your door. That is a shame and a sin, we are doing are children a great disservice.

Today I reflect on all of those whose shoulders I stand on. Those who endured on my behalf so I could succeed and be a mentor and trailblazer for my nieces, cousins and all those coming after me. I want to be the best at all I am and will be and for that desire I owe so many whom I have thanked and those whom I have never met. Regardless, I know I can never thank them enough.